The Card in Your Pocket: Kind, Clear Questions for Any Health Number

In 1847, a doctor in Vienna had the numbers to prove that a simple handwashing rule saved mothers' lives. He was right, and he was ignored, partly because of how he said it. Being right wasn't enough. The truth also needed a way to be heard.

Most of us meet numbers every week that shape our choices: a headline, a label, a lab result, a recommendation from someone we trust. And most of us do one of two things. We freeze and go along, or we push back so hard the other person stops listening.

There's a third way. Ask a few good questions, kindly and clearly. Here's how to build your own set and carry it with you.

Step 1: Choose your questions

You don't need a long list. Pick three to five that feel natural to say out loud. Here are some to choose from.

For any number:

- Who is telling me this, and who paid for it?

- Who was counted? Are they like me?

- Percent of what? Out of a hundred people like me, how many?

- Over how long?

For a test or treatment, health systems now hand patients their own questions. NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde in Scotland teaches a simple word to remember: BRAN.

- Benefits: "What are the benefits of my treatment?"

- Risks: "What are the risks of my treatment?"

- Alternatives: "Are there any alternative treatments I could try?"

- Nothing: "What if I do nothing?"

In the United States, the Choosing Wisely campaign adds two more worth keeping: "Are there simpler, safer options?" and "How much does it cost?"

That question about simpler, safer options is the heart of how I practice. Gentlest, safest first.

Step 2: Make it sound like you

A question lands better in your own words. Try a few of these and keep the ones that fit:

- "Can you help me understand what this means for someone like me?"

- "What have you seen this do for people like me?"

- "How strong is the evidence for this, and where does it come from?"

- "What would you want to know if this were your mother?"

None of these is an accusation. Each one is an invitation to partnership. Any professional worth trusting will welcome them, and that includes me.

Step 3: Match the question to the moment

A headline. Here you're really talking to yourself. When a headline makes you feel afraid, excited or guilty, pause. Ask who is telling you this and who was counted. If the article doesn't say, that empty space is information. "I don't know yet" is an honest answer.

A company. Ask for the plain numbers. How many people were in the study? How many were helped? How many had side effects? Who paid for the research? A company with honest numbers is usually glad to share them. When they can't or won't, that tells you something too.

A practitioner. Bring your questions and read them. You don't have to remember a thing. And if the answer is, "We don't know. There isn't good research on that yet," that's a practitioner telling you the truth. Then experience, careful observation, and your own record of how your body responds become part of the evidence.

Step 4: Give yourself time

You never need permission to think it over. When the decision is yours, you can simply say, "I'm going to take some time with this, and I'll let you know." Taking time to decide is your right.

Step 5: Ask the same questions of the numbers you carry

Many of us carry numbers about ourselves: a weight, a lab value circled in red, an age, a statistic attached to a diagnosis. Over time, "I have a high number" quietly becomes "I'm a high-risk person."

Run your questions on those numbers too. Who was counted in that statistic? Were they like me? Over how long? An average describes a crowd. It doesn't decide what happens to any one person in it.

A number can describe something about you. It can never define you.

A practice for today

Take a small card, or open a note on your phone, and title it "My Questions." Write down the three to five questions that matter most to you. Tuck the card in your wallet next to your insurance card. Bring it to your next appointment. The next time a number comes your way, you'll only have to read.

Words to Carry

- Asking questions is partnership, not rudeness.

- I can be right and kind.

- I ask: are there simpler, safer options?

- I can take time to decide.

- A number can describe me. It can never define me.

With you every step of the way,

Dr. Jocelyn

References

Choosing Wisely. (n.d.). 5 questions to ask your doctor before you get any test, treatment, or procedure [Handout]. https://www.bates.edu/hr/files/2010/09/hr-choosing-wisely-5-questions-to-ask-your-doctor.pdf

NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde. (2026, February 11). "It's OK to ask" questions about your healthcare. https://www.nhsggc.scot/its-ok-to-ask-questions-about-your-healthcare/

Semmelweis, I. (1861). Die Ätiologie, der Begriff und die Prophylaxis des Kindbettfiebers [The etiology, concept and prophylaxis of childbed fever].